I stared out of my cabin window over-looking the bluest of skies and the freshest of lakes. I was
having a hot steaming shower. I had the finest in natural products. My mum was a health freak.
This was a family summer vacation home but my mum had put it in my name. You see, she may
have been a health freak but she was dying of cancer. She had decided to put the cabin in my
name because she wanted to make sure it went to me. Our family’s issues and dysfunctional
dynamics go way back but my mum and I were always so tight and now I was losing her.
On this occasion I was staying at the cabin alone. As I appeared out of my shower cabin window.
Steaming the place up! The smell of pine coming in from the window through the fresh air and
the smell of my Tea Tree oil Shampoo by Maple Holistics filling up the place. I put my hand on the cold hard tiles
that never seemed to warm up no matter how hot it got in there. I just stood there. I probably
stood there for an hour or so day-dreaming. Thinking what it would be like if my mum beat
cancer, if she beat this, her and me together. I stood there for an hour thinking what it would be
like without her and how I was going to live that way.
She has stage four cancer but I know other Women and Men that have survived even at that
late stage. The thing was she had beaten it once and I believe she could beat it again. She was a
strong Woman. Had never smoked a day in her life. She had the best heart. She was kind and
giving and always did her best even though my other siblings didn’t always think so. You see she
left my dad and took me with her. She had too. It had to be that way. She was trying to protect
me. All of us really. She came back for my siblings 4 weeks later but it’s like they had never
forgiven her for that one moment in time even though it was over 10 years ago now. I think they
thought I was the special one or that my mum loved me more but it just wasn’t true. I was the
youngest and the most vulnerable. We all lived well together for a while but I don’t think the
problems ever really got sorted out after my parents divorced especially. We have all been
estranged now for the last three years apart from me and my mum. I am not even sure they
know just how sick she is.
As I stare out of my cabin window, steaming up the place and as I realize that I may not have
that much time left with my mum and all I can do is hope. We are doing everything we can to
beat this and beat this together we shall! Mum is due to come up to the Cabin on Tuesday, she
isn’t feeling well enough to travel. As soon as she gets here. I am going to wait on her hand and
foot! I know she’s going to make it, she is strong and positive and well she just has to. My mum
is the best person I know and if I had to choose her again as my mother – I wouldn’t think about